Traveling With Mom

September 2003, I was with Mom and her sister, Gladys in Illinois. We started the day by going to church and then it was on to Carthage. After our tour of the Carthage Jail, we headed headed south and a bit east, then west. It was like an extended ride in the country which was a favorite past time of Mom's. After our trip in the country, we returned to Nauvoo, where we had been staying the few days.

I remember Mom saying something about this being the last chance to see Nauvoo and that she didn't expect to live much longer. It disturbed me hearing this and when she would say things like that on the trip, I would try to ignore it. You might say I was in denial that she was an old lady and she could kick the bucket.

A year after Mom passed, I took a ride on the Trax red line. When the train got to the South Jordan Parkway, I decided to get off instead of continuing on to the end of the line,which was the next stop. I was glad I did. I looked east and saw the Oquirrh Temple. Mom would have been pleased to see that. She always loved to see a temple. She always made in a point to go to the Idaho Falls and Boise temple when the Paul 2nd had temple trips. She even made regular trips to the Logan temple with a group of friends. When Mom went to Nauvoo, we did a session each at the Winter Quarters and Nauvoo temples. And when the Twin Falls temple opened, her home teacher, Clint Harper took her often.

Each September my thoughts will return to the passing of my mother, just like each February when I think of my father. I felt such a huge void when Dad passed. But I have noticed that it has become less noticeable as time passes. And it will be like that with Mom.  I will always miss my parents, but I will always feel their love for me; looking forward to the time I will see them again. The voids will always be there and I realize nothing will fill those in my life, but the pain will dim. I will continue to move on in my life. My parents have set an example that I can follow as trials and opportunities come my way.

30 Years

I was going through my old emails and I came across an email that Laura wrote on February 16, 2010. 3 1/2 years later I was still touched with what she wrote.
Susan

Brothers and sisters  (sounds like I'm giving a talk in church:)

So I'm pretty good about forwarding missionary letters,  (sigh--nothing from Brian today), but not so good at sharing WA news.  To be honest it feels like there isn't too much new ,but here's the latest.

(Laura writes about what her two youngest sons were doing)

Sunday was busy with church, valentines and Kevin got his patriarchal blessing or I might have thought about it being the Sunday before Pres day and the 30th anniversary of Dad's death.  Tomorrow is the calendar anniversary and that has been on my radar for awhile.  I was 13 and in some ways it seems forever ago because my life has went through so many changes.  But, in being able to recall random details it doesn't seem as long ago (what dress I wore, what John's friends made me for breakfast as we traveled to Colo, my friends' response on my first day back to school, and of course my feelings of that evening etc).  Sometimes I try to remember what I can about Dad and realize that all my memories are not only 30 yrs old, but started from a young perspective and so might not be accurate.  But,I came to the conclusion that the most important deduction I've made is true--he loved and wanted what was best for me and you his other children--thought I'd share that.

Wish you all a good day!

Love,

Laura

Some Random Thoughts of Mom--

Laura (9/18/12) When Laurel visited Mom she told of a time Mom walked over and brought her some soup.  That's a good walk carrying soup.  She also told of Mom letting her hide Christmas gifts and Mom remembered her painting homemade gifts there to keep them a surprise.

Random fact was she did horseshoes in High School and enjoyed CA beaches.  She was 25 when sister died of polio

All I remember (of homesteading) was how primitive a start and she had no comments about that being that way--she wasn't a complainer and it probably took people like that to make a go of homesteading.

I know Mother went without a lot of things for herself as she raised us children --we weren't well off, but she made do and I don't recall her complaining about the situation.  She was willing to sacrifice and was very unselfish.  (Now I can't believe how often she let me take the only car to school etc)

One of the things I most appreciate Mom for was making sure we had scripture study, FHE, and went to church.  I know this isn't easy and even harder when doing alone as she often had to do.  Maybe she's like me and proud she raised 3 missionaries?

I remember her taking tailoring classes and something with preserving food.  She liked to learn and utilized what she learned I remember her helping at the fair after she earned certification in the other thing that I can't remember the title of (had to do with proper food canning etc)

Also I was so impressed when home and into Mom's things how organized she was with her belongings and she was certainly detailed her planning for death.  Her organization made everything easier for us (Susan’s name on bank acct as example, maybe worth mentioning. She was a widow for 32 years--that is a long time

I'm glad she came to Connecticut when I had Isaac. (she had permission to leave her mission)  She also saw me there on a visit to her friend Elizabeth.

Laura (Oct 5, 2012) She enjoyed taking community classes.  She did tailoring, and food preservation among others. She liked learning.  When my family went to places (St Helen's, Game Farm etc) with her she would often buy a book about it to read more about it.

After Dad died she worked at DI for awhile.  I think she enjoyed having co-workers and dressing up to go to work.  I think it was problems with her feet though soon after that she didn't pursue further employment.

Steven's Memories

In regards to his sense of humor I remember dad when he would be putting his boots on in getting ready to go to work he would quote the scripture "No rest for the wicked"

I do not remember dad ever spending much time in leisure but if my memory serves me right he liked reading the humorous comics in the Sunday newspapers.  I think he liked reading comic magazines/books.  I remember seeing him read the scriptures and reading the book Jacob Hamblin which I think he read a couple of times, because he seemed to have an interest in the book I read it.  He did a time or two go down to St. George with Mom in the winter when he was not working the farm.  I never remember my dad raising his voice at me.  He was very frugal in his spending, I think he once bought pants that were to long and then just rolled them up all because they were cheaper than the size that fitted.  Dad as I remember him was very concerned about us, was sparing in preaching to us, teaching more by example than word, but the one thing he did instruct us boys on was to be respectful to women including putting the toilet seat down when we were done.

Note: Steven was born on his dad's 41st birthday, July 29th.

Recollections of a Younger Brother by Isabelle Jackson Coleman

Lafe was christened the same day as I was baptized - Sept 2, 1917.
After 3 daughters Father was probably proud and grateful to at last have a son - Lafe.
Though I often heard Father say if there's anything sweeter than little kids, it's more little kids. He said he couldn't wait until Lafe was big enough to go with him, but when that day came, Father was suffering too much from the cancer to take him. Lafe, Reta, Inez and Kelland stayed Grandpa and Gramdma Schofield and Aunt Lucille, when Mother went with Father to the LDS Hospital in Salt Lake City, Utah. (I stayed with Grandma Jackson, so I could go twice a day to tend chickens & look after home.)
When Father died Lafe couldn't understand why he didn't come home and after Mother explained he had gone up to Heaven to live with Heavenly Father, Lafe would ask Mother why they couldn't get in the car and go up in the clouds where Daddy was.
And when Lafe was a small boy, Uncle Will took him and Kelland with his boys on the father's & sons outing. Some one returned shortly after for supplies and Lafe came home with them. I don't remember the excuse he gave Mother for coming home, but she said she saw him standing in the yard and knew it was because he was missing his own father.
As he grew up he like to tease his sister Inez. One day he did something that aggravated her very much, so she took running to catch him. But he out run her, Kelland was near by so she pulled his hair. Kelland didn't know what he had done to make Inez so angry.
Lafe, Arlo (Brady), Lynn (Boice)* loved to ride their horses. Some times they would be gone most of the day, which was a great wory to Mother. They loved to go to Flat Top Mountain several miles east of Mansassa and try to round up or catch wild horses.
Always when he got near home, Lafe would give Pet, his horse free reins and she would go full speed for the corral. Mother held her breath for fear the horse would cut too close and the gate posts would scrape Lafe off, but they always made safely.

*Lynn Boice was a uncle to Lafe's wife, LaRee.

Dad's Love

As I look at this picture, I realize how handicapped my dad had it as a father. When my dad was two, his dad passed away from cancer. But yet, Grandpa Jackson passed on the legacy of loving children to his two sons and I am pretty sure, his daughters. Aunt Isabelle wrote how Grandpa Jackson loved children and the only better than children were more children. My dad was like this as my siblings and I were growing up. I even saw that example in my Uncle Kelland, who was the youngest child of Lafayette and Jane Schofield Jackson. Even though my dad has been gone for more than 30 years, I still feel of his love. 

Laura's Memories of Mom

Laura (9/20/12)

I remember my mother reading a variety of books to me and Jay (She like "Little House on the Prairie" as much and me I think.  We loved to sit on her lap or on each side.  We'd share her by dividing her in half.  I'm glad she shared family history stories with me. Most mornings when I woke Mom was doing one of two things--making breakfast mush or reading her scriptures at the table. She liked to read the National Geographic and Readers Digest.  (In later years she splurged and added quilting magazine)

I remember the quilting parties sometimes at our home and sometimes at one of Mom's friends.  The kids liked to play under the framed quilts. She sewed all my dresses at least through grade school and then taught me to sew.  

She'd buy bushels of beans or peas and have everyone sit around the table snapping or shelling in preparation for canning.  She canned lots--I especially loved the bushels of peaches. I remember seeing her spending many hours standing at the sink pitting, pealing etc. She baked six loaves of bread at a time. (once or twice a week?)

We knew what days laundry was done--she did the bread baking on certain days and laundry on others.  She was organized and kept to her self made schedule so I'd say she was disciplined too. She planned ahead --we'd have a meeting and discuss upcoming trips--including the early hour we'd wake, in the summer we had a week she'd have us prepare for school by starting to go to bed earlier, etc Christmas she handled the budget carefully.  Each child was given an allotment and would spend hours pouring over the Sears and Ward catalogs determining the best way to use that amount.

She liked me to scratch her back and comb her hair.  This made me feel good to do as a young child.

Mom collected interesting rocks while we went on walks.  She didn't use her skirt like I did, but I do remember her wearing aprons.  She usually wore a dress.  She had house dresses for everyday chores.

We would do a "4th of July" program, with patriotic songs, poems, and references to the verses in the Book of Mormon that taught of Columbus and the unique place America is.

Also liked going to the parade with Mom on the 4th.  It was one of the rare times we had potato chips, hot dogs and our own glass bottle of pop (Shasta?)  We'd picnic on the front lawn using a folding metal table.

When I was in high school she was patient with my sometimes teenage irrational notions. One evening during a blizzard I determined to go ahead to play pep band for a basketball game.  I know she tried to discourage me, but in the end seeing my determination went with Jay and me.   After the game the roads were quite blown over.  We amazingly made it within the last mile before we got good and stuck.  I felt very foolish as we trudged home through the deep snow in the cold.  I remember it being a difficult walk home, but I don't remember her saying anything about my foolishness in getting us in that situation.  

During the last weeks of life I learned to appreciate what was important to her.  She was very weak during this time and so naturally let many things go undone, but she remembered she hadn't paid her tithing this month and had Mike fill out a form and write out a check she could sign.  She was in Washington state less than a day when she realized she needed an absentee ballot and had her son, Steve help her fill out a request for this.  (I remember her always voting and taking an interest in elections.)  She was very polite.  Even when she was feeling lousy while in the hospital she would smile and thank the doctors after they came by and talked with her.  She was very patient even when waiting to be helped move because she was uncomfortable in present position or was waiting for requested pain medication.

Mom's Moment

April 7, 2013 – Yesterday, a woman gave the closing prayer in the morning session of General Conference. It reminded of one Father’s Day while I was in elementary school or junior high, Mom got to say the prayer in Sunday School opening exercises. Mom was quite honored to do this. She said that because all the fathers were in Junior Sunday School for a Father’s Day program, there were no men to say the prayer, so she was asked. I don’t know if I have heard Mom pray in Sacrament Meeting because for more than half my life, we have attended different wards. She did hear Steven and I pray in the Paul 2^nd Ward as visiting adults. When people made a big deal about Jean A. Stevens being the first women to pray in a LDS General Conference, I thought of how proud Mom was to say the prayer in Sunday School those many years ago. It was a special moment for her. I don’t know if she was the first woman to pray in a general meeting I the Paul 2^nd Ward, but it meant a lot to her to pray in meeting where men and women met together.

Two Sons' Thoughts

From Steven (Monday Oct 1, 2012)

 That absentee ballot has quite a story to tell, I think is a keepsake if we have not returned and not required to return.  It is another tribute to Mother a memory to not be forgotten, she has stage 4 lymphoma to weak to stand up and she is thinking about.... to me that is remarkable, I hope you never catch me missing an election.

John (Oct 5, 2012)

Our mother was a mother of honor, a person who always sought to do the right thing. She insisted her tithing be paid. She raised us as church-goers. She spoke well of neighbors and valued their friendships. Her hobbies were noble, including genealogy. She was a conscientious voter. She did not believe in debt and did believe in being honest in financial dealings with others, paying them fully. She was not a feuder, but a friend to others.

If I were to contribute one memory, it would be of an offer to join, or to audition in hopes of joining the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. It would have required her to stay in Salt Lake City for the six-months (or however long) duration of her membership. She let that opportunity go. That she spoke so little of it tells us much about her, and about her humility. Bless her. We were blessed with a great mother.

Cleaning house while kids are growing is like shoveling snow while it's snowing

Mary (9/20/12) I remember my mother trying to have a clean and shinning living room floor.  She would mop and wax it and then get dismayed when her children would run inside and then outside all day long tracking dirt in on her clean floor. I remember when she had what she thought was a good idea.  She wanted the floor to remain clean for at least a while after some of her moppings and waxings so she moved the couches back to give us one section of the floor to use so the major part of the floor would remain clean and shinning.  But I remember this didn't last long, she gave up and the couches were moved back and we had full access to the floor.  One thing kind of special is that she let us shine the floor up by sliding all over it with our stocking feet.

Gladys' memories!

I am the youngest of the five daughters, and fifteen years younger than LaRee - so by the time I was old enough to remember family members, LaRee was a career girl in the big city of Los Angeles.  I knew there was someone important in the family circle because of the excitement when a letter came in the mail.  Then, on one summer visit LaRee brought a portrait of herself - posed in the classic style, wearing the black dress and a string of pearls - the career girl uniform!  That portrait of LaRee held a pride of place on the upright piano.

On one summer visit our father took "his girls" on a picnic in a nearby mountain park. I treasure the picture of the oldest daughter, LaRee and the youngest daughter who was me, together.  LaRee all properly dressed - city style for the country, hair in place and me freckled, pigtails and gap toothed.

I have a sense that LaRee was always "a little mother" - pictures of the older children taken when they were toddlers or very young show LaRee holding her younger siblings Dale and Betty in place - in my mind LaRee feels responsible for holding them still & facing the camera - and these pictures were taken in the days before flash cameras, so that was a responsibility for a small child. 

Our mother told the story of not being able to find the car keys for our car and hunting high and low for the keys, as Mama said, and then mentioned in LaRee's hearing of not being able to find the keys after looking so thoroughly for them.  LaRee told her mother she knew where the car keys were, and went out to a shed, climbed up to a high shelf and retrieved the keys, telling Mama she had put the keys there so Dale wouldn't find them and lose them. 

LaRee and I developed a closeness later in our lives, after Lafe died and she didn't have the home responsibilities she would have had otherwise.  LaRee had to buy a new car and one of the prizes for doing so was a free trip for two to anywhere in the continental United States.  Not wanting to choose between her children, and perhaps making them think she favored one over the other - she chose me to accompany her.  So, we went to Atlanta Georgia and went to the temple!  LaRee, Susan and I took a road trip in 2004 back to Nauvoo and not using the interstate highways.  I believe we stopped at every museum between Denver and Nauvoo!  In some of places we stopped, people would assume LaRee was my mother and Susan was my daughter [which may have bothered Susan more than it did me!].

 I think the scripture "who can find a virtuous woman* - - and the story of Naomi & Ruth are a reminder of LaRee.**

*Proverbs 31:10-28 

**The Book of Ruth in the Old Testament

What John Remembers

I revered my dad as one of the greatest men alive. I thought him kind, considerate, honest, and honorable. He worked like few others. Though most farmers work hard, it seemed he worked harder than most farmers, sometimes even digging portions of his ditches with a shovel. Only two things seemed to ever matter with him, the farm and the family. Though he didn't verbally state his love for us, it was clear in the way he treated us that we, as his family, were the most important thing in his life.

 

Sometimes, we would go out on the farm with him just to be with him. I remember sitting on the toolbox on the tractor when younger. As we got older, work became more a responsibility, and we hoed the beets, set the siphon tubes, and herded the sheep. I remember dad had a fast walk as we went out to work, and I had to press to keep up with him.

One of the incidents I remember is getting cornered by a buck, and Dad, perhaps seeing it as a growing experience for me, smiling and coaxing me instead of just stepping in and chasing the buck away. Dad threw a pitchfork over to me, and encouraged me to fight the buck off.

Laura's (or Mary's) Memories

I'm not sure if this was Mary or Laura.

Here are some very random memories:

  He sang how his friends would "say Howdy, Howdy and I would say Howdy"

I remember also taking water out to Dad in the field in a quart size jar.  Sometimes Mom would send some food out to the fields too.  I liked riding on the tractor with him or walking behind the land planer (or whatever it was called that smoothed out the ground). He would nap sometimes on the floor in the sunshine.  Sorry to say, I also remember sitting on his stomach with a bound while he was on the ground resting.  He never expressed anger about this rude awakening.  He did ask sometimes for me to walk on his back-- a try at a massage?  I remember he massaged my feet on car trips.  (Think he was worried I was cold because I'd take off my shoes.)

A Cousin and Best Friend's Memories

Dear Susan, Mary has asked me to write my early memories of my dear 

cousin, LaRee.  So, here goes.  My first memory of LaRee was when your 

great grandparents, Edwin and Mary Boice had a small dairy farm in 

Manassa.  Their cute 4 room log house on a lane was one of my favorite 

places to visit.  Aunt Mary (Edwin was my mother's brother) put us 

small girls to work washing the milk bottles.  Of course, we didn't do 

a good job at it so she sent me and LaRee out to play.  We didn't mind 

losing our job and went hand in hand singing down the lane on our trip 

to the small town. LaRee always was a giggler and she delighted in 

telling me jokes.  It seemed we both had to go to the bathroom at the 

same time so we took advantage of the two holer that Uncle Edwin had 

made for the convenience of the large family.  It had no roof and I 

loved the sun beating down on our heads and the flies buzzing happily 

in the summer warmth.

LaRee loved to read and got in lots of trouble because she was so 

intent on her reading that she often failed to hear the calls of her 

mother to help with the babies.  She sucked her thumb and it caused her 

teeth to be crooked and have a severe overbite.  She was 'picked' on by 

her classmates and developed an inferiority complex.  Grandma and 

Grandpa Boice had moved to California near Letha and George and me.  

Edwin and Mary asked if they could help LaRee.  Of course the first 

thing the folks did was to take her to an orthopedic Dr. who 

immediately put her into a body cast from her neck to her tail bone. 

She was severely humped backed.  How uncomfortable she was.  Then they 

had braces put on her teeth.  She endured both corrections with dignity 

and it paid off.  By the time she graduated from High School she was a 

very pretty young lady.

World War II was just beginning but LaRee got a job with Douglas 

Aircraft in Inglewood, CA.  She had no car but had made good friends 

with Esther (last name?) who had her share her home and gave her the 

transportation she needed.  When she got married I loaned her my 

wedding dress.  It doesn't fit me anymore but would still fit LaRee.

During the years she sent me several prized gifts.  One was a large 

wooden scrap book which I will return someday to one of her 

children--perhaps Michael who can paste his favorite pictures in.  Then 

she sent me a book on gardening and one on Columbus.  The prize 

possession is a large notebook of a hundred year timeline of my father, 

George Ensign Cunliffe, on his hundredth birthday.  He lived to be 

almost 106.  I always looked forward to her Happy Birthday call on my 

day.  My love to all the family,  Cousin Donna Cunliffe Haycock

Mary's Memories of Her Parents

(10/08/12) I remember Mom teaching me these little sayings: Railroad Crossing watch for the cars! Can you spell that without any 'R's'. I thought it was very hard to try and figure it out but Mom finally told me the secret. 'There aren't any 'R's' in the word 'That'. I remember her enjoying this very much. She also taught me this as she gently pulled on my toes in turn: 'This little Piggy went to town, this little Piggy stayed home, this little Piggy had roast beef, this little Piggy had none, and this little Piggy cried 'wee, wee, wee', all the way home!'. I loved it and kept asking her to do it again.
And I remember Mom buying a whole set of educational books from a salesman thinking it would be really good for us kids to look through them. She was hoping we would be able to use them to help with homework. They only thing I used them for was some kind of stories that they contained. And I did look up some poems (or songs) in them. I learned 'On Top of Old Smokey' from them. I remember singing that song but I don't think Mom really approved of it because it mentioned losing a lover from courting to slow. I think she was hoping for me to learn something a little more educational. Another song I remember learning was 'The Bear went Over the Mountain'. Later when we were older I remember Mom mentioning how she wished we would have used the books more. She probably had to talk dad into getting them and we didn't even take advantage of the knowledge right there at our finger tips. Does anyone else remember them? Maybe you used them more than I did? I think Mike might have also spent time looking through them.
I remember when I was little and I was really mad and frustrated about something. (probably something John or Mike had done). I was complaining to Mom by yelling and stamping my foot. Mom couldn't hold it in and she started laughing at the scene I was creating. I was shocked that she was laughing at me instead of catering to my problem. She tried to get it together quickly and tried to explain that I reminded her of Rumpelstiltskin. It hurt my feelings that she laughed at me but this memory makes me realize that I always felt I could tell her anything (that is until I turned into a teen-ager.) She must have gotten very weary of all our tattle-tailing because I remember her reminding us 'not to be a 'tattle-tailor'.
Mom had to be the one to discipline us with swats on the rear. I ask her once why Dad didn't get after us and she replied that he was worried that he would hurt our feelings. And once she did tell Dad she was getting tired of being the one to always correct us and it was time he did the bottom swat to me. So reluctantly he did attempt to do the discipline, I could tell it was something he really did not want to do. But you really couldn't call it a swat; I think it was more like a pat! But indeed it did hurt my feelings that HE would actually spank me! I think Mom felt bad because she never did ask him to perform that job again. I use to keep score of when I got mad at one of my family members. When they made me mad I would run in my bedroom and put a mark by their name. Mom and John got an amazing amount of marks which seemed to be acceptable to me. Dad only had one mark and that was the one and only time he ’spanked’ me.
I remember Dad trying to get us to be some kind of help on the farm. We had to help get some of the rocks off of a section of land and load them on the pick-up. Then we had to help un-load the rocks by tossing them off on another section that wasn't going to be farmed. Another task was riding with Dad to load the baled hay on the truck. Some lucky person, I think Mike or John, got to drive the pick-up which really meant idling it and stopping it so Dad could put the bale of hay on the pick-up. I don't know why I remember this because I don't remember getting to drive the pick-up and I know I wanted to.

One task I do remember Dad letting me do and that was riding the back of the potato planter. He drove the tractor and I sat on a seat at the back of the potato planter. There were 2 bins of seeded potatoes that would fall down and a round of picks would constantly go around and pick up a seeded potato and drop it into the plowed earth that the potato planter was also was creating. My job was to watch the picks and if they got stuck and stopped working I needed to alert Dad so he could stop the tractor and fix the problem. Well, Dad was hard of hearing so when the picks stopped turning I yelled at him but he couldn't hear me. I didn't know what to do so when he got to the end of the row he ask me how it was doing. He was a little disappointed that I hadn't stopped him when the problem occurred. He told me to throw a potato up in front of him somewhere that he could see and he would stop the tractor. So the next time there was a problem with the picks not turning, I threw a potato up there but it hit him in the head! It really startled him and he told me I didn't need to throw it at him, just up where he could see it.